Friday, November 27, 2009

Día de Acción de Gracias y Números

I was super excited to share the Thanksgiving Holiday with Manolo until I realized that it really wasn't all that exciting. We get together with family, eat a really big turkey, then sit on the couch and watch tv or football together, the end. At least that is the way it is in my family. There are no huge festivals, late night adventures (too much turkey in your belly to allow being awake past 10pm), songs, or elaborate traditions (besides going around the table and saying what you are thankful for). Manolo did enjoy the food (although roasting a turkey is not unique to America) especially the stuffing and he did enjoy the opportunity to meet most of my family. He thought the day was more like a typical Sunday dinner with family then a National Holiday. I must agree.

The one difference we did find was how to pronounce numbers. As we drove up to my Mother's house in the country he asked how to pronounce her address "12455". He was expecting me to say it as one giant number "twelve thousand four hundred and fifty five". Instead I said as is normal here in America "twelve - four - fifty five". In Spain almost all long numbers (except telephone numbers) are pronounced as a long number. For example a hotel room in Spain "307" would always be pronounced as "trescientos siete" while here in America it would be "three zero seven" or even "three oh seven". This further confused Manolo because he couldn't figure out why in the world we would ever say "oh" for 0 instead of the correct "zero". Unfortunately I really don't have a correct answer for him except that a "o" and "0" look similar.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

El Cantante

So … the singing. The damn singing. The all the time singing.

In Spain, fun and revelry are very much valued. I really appreciate their love of life, food, drink, family, and friends. Often in the middle of the dinner people will break out into song. In the car people sing. At soccer games people sing. Sometimes old traditional songs, sometimes funny songs, sometimes religious songs, sometimes new contemporary songs. A few times I have been in the middle of cooking dinner and I'll ask Manolo to hurry to the grocery store and pick up an item that I need but forgot. I'll say a word that triggers a memory of a song for him and this will set him off into full blown singing of that song. Like loud singing that does not help me when I just need him to hurry to the store and pick up an onion before the chicken finishes cooking!

I've never seen Manolo more disappointed in American culture then when I informed him that people don't actually go Christmas caroling like you see in the movies. I guess in Spain this is a pretty common thing, for friends to get together and go around and sing for their neighbors and friends during the holiday season. Manolo had assumed that we too would be doing this (and maybe they do this in other parts of the Country) but here in Cali it's just not done. Really we don't sing anywhere. When we cook, we don't sing. In the car with friends, we don't sing (unless a really great classic song is played). And much to Manolo's dismay, while there are a few chants played during American Football games, there really are no songs that we sing. For the Sevilla Soccer Club there are over 20 songs that are sung by the crowd during the game. And they sing one song or another during the entire game. Some are short but most are 3-4 minutes (or more!) and quite elaborate. (Believe me, one time I had to sit through Manolo reminiscing and singing me all 20 songs. The things we do for love).

The really interesting thing is that it seems that the Spaniards (and especially those from Sevilla) are naturally gifted with fantastic singing voices. Manolo is not known for his voice (compared to his friends and family) but boy can that boy carry a tune. And so can many of the other Sevillanos that I have met. The video below is a bride from Sevilla breaking out into song in the middle of her wedding. And while her voice is better then average it really is typical of the women's voices I have heard while visiting with Manolo's friends. (Plus bonus for this video being from the Catholic Church that Manolo has attended since he was a baby).

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Dormir y Comer

It's very odd. I expected there to be many, many differences between Manolo and I when he moved here. In a normal relationship there is differences between how two people were differently raised, socio-economic status, etc. I figured that these changes compounded with the fact that Manolo and I come from two different continents and cultures would mean that much of our time together would be spent trying to overcome the different ways that we each saw the world. (I really thought that much of this blog would be written to note those differences). Surprisingly, we’ve encountered many more similarities then differences.

The 3 big differences that we have encountered:

1) Sleep – As I’ve mentioned before it is typical in Spain to work an 8 hour day, taking a short nap (3 hours or so), go out to eat with friends and family at 10pm or 11pm, go to sleep at 2am, and then sleep for another 4 hours before going to work again at 8am. (And this sleep pattern isn’t just for the young. Married couples, kids, and older people also maintain this schedule. It was very bizarre for me to be in Spain the first time and see 3 year olds eating dinner at 11pm with their families as well as 80 year old couples eating dinner at midnight). Manolo thought it was very weird in the beginning that he was expected to sleep in an 8 hour chunk of time. He has quickly adapted to this mode of sleeping though and often sleeps longer then I.

2) Eating – What he eats and I eat is not so different (except breakfast which I need to write about in more detail later), the differences come more into meal times and quantity of food eaten at each meal which we are still trying to work out.

Typical American meals:
breakfast at 8am
lunch at noon (mid-size portions)
snack
dinner at 6pm (larger size portions)

Typical Spanish meals:
breakfast (desayuno) at 8am
lunch (almuerzo) at 2pm (large portions) that is eaten back at home with family and not at your desk by yourself
smaller 2nd lunch at 5pm (typically tapas with coworkers after work)
dinner (cena) at 11pm (smaller portions).

We’re still trying to work out the mutual agreement of when we eat and how much we eat at each meal, but at this time we are just wonky. Manolo keeps waiting for me to come home before eating lunch (I don’t get home until 4pm) which is unfortunate since I’ve already eaten lunch at work at noon. I then usually end up eating a 2nd large portion lunch which just then makes for a very odd hour for dinner which is usually large as well since I am used to cooking full-scale meals for dinner and not smaller size portions.

OK, so this is long and I need to get back to work. More later on a typical Spanish breakfast (it was a shock for me while in Spain) as well as the 3rd difference: the damn singing all the time.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Mas Picturas

Manolo Flamenco dances on stage after being dragged up there by the other dancers.

This fish cracks me up. At Sea World in San Diego.

Shamu says hello.

Wine tasting in the nearby town of Temecula

Us near the water at Torrey Pines

Hiking at Torrey Pines

Scaling the cliffs while hiking.

Suerte

Pictures from recently:
Manolo and I enjoy a coffee while playing dominoes in La Jolla. That boy sure does love his coffee.

At a San Diego beach: La Jolla

Climbing in the caves at La Jolla


At Balboa Park in San Diego

Amongst the trees at Balboa Park

And one of my favorite songs as of lately:

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Salmorejo

The first time I had salmorejo, I was at Manolo's parents beach house. It was the first meal that I had ever eaten with his family, and Manolo's Dad (who speaks no English and has a thick accent that I just can't understand when he speaks Spanish) pushed a HUGE bowl of a reddish soup in front of me and insisted that I eat it. I HATE gazpacho and this very much resembled gazpacho (cold, red, tomato based) so needless to say I really didn't want to eat it but I took a chunk of bread and dipped it in the cold soup as instructed. YUMMY! Seriously very yummy. For the rest of the weekend at every meal I had a bowl of salmorejo with bread and when I came home it was one of the foods that I craved desperately. I have been meaning to make salmorejo for the past 4 months but I've been intimidated. A week ago for the first time I attempted my first batch and I really wish that I had tried to make it earlier because it really is a simple recipe and so very yummy. The taste is very unique and the flavor of the tomatoes are very light (which is a great thing if you are a tomato hater like me). Usually salmorejo is served alongside boiled eggs and jamon but for me I just eat it by dipping bread.



1 kilo (about 2 pounds) tomatoes (very ripe, on the vine)
2 cloves of garlic
2 large loaves of white bread (french is fine)
1 tbsp vinegar
4 tbsp olive oil
sea salt (regular salt is fine)

1. Cut the crust off one of the loaves of bread. This doesn't need to be very precise. Just take a big knife and cut off the crust all around the loaf.

2. Cut the tomatoes in quarters and dice in a blender along with the garlic, vinegar, and olive oil.

3. Add chunks of the de-crusted bread to the blender until the soup has a very thick consistency.

4. Add a bit of salt and more olive oil to taste.

5. Chill the salmorejo in the fridge but you can be like me and eat immediately. Use the crusted loaf of bread to dip into the salmorejo and eat. Garnish with boiled eggs, onions, and jamon if desired.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Preguntas

My good friend Tammy asked me a few questions that I thought were interesting.

Q: How’s your Spanish coming along? And his English?
A: I am almost fluent in Spanish now. His English is decent. He can speak pretty well but understanding people when they converse is difficult. When people talk they use a lot of slang, idioms, and they talk very rapidly. That has been pretty hard for him. I have the same problem when I am in Spain but I do a better job of catching words here and there and understanding what is being said and discussed. Manolo tends to just tune the entire convo out as soon as he gets lost.

When we talk together, he talks in English and I talk in Spanish. Whenever we have trouble finding the correct word we just say the word in our native language and the other tends to know what the word is when translated. We also use my iphone which has a translator app for when we both don't know what the word is translated. Manolo is a talker! and we never have times when there are silence. Very rarely is there a time when one of us can't say what we want to and we talk about everything (marriage, politics, religion, cultural differences, etc).


Q: Are you thinking of moving to spain at all?
A: Sometimes I do think of moving to Spain. I love America but I do love Sevilla as well and the great family/social network that Manolo has over there. If we ever had kids I would most def want to raise them over there where his HUGE family lives within 10 minutes of each other (in the Triana neighborhood of Sevilla) and every night is spent eating dinner with friends and/or family. His family has a country home and a beach home. These are all things that we just don't have in the States. The one thing holding me back is my career. I'm successful in what I do and I make a lot of money BUT I also work very long hours. I would like to have kids one day (sooner then later) and it worries me if I will be able to balance my current career with family but then again the thought of leaving behind this career scares me ...


Q: How does he like life in SD? And his job?
A: He likes SD and his job. I'm lucky that he came to America not expecting it to be anything like Spain. He has traveled quite a bit (Egypt, Cuba, etc) so he knew that each country is different and that includes the good and the bad. He thinks our grocery stores have a lot of selections and he is surprised that there aren't guards at the doors of every store, market, etc but he appreciates that America is so safe. He doesn't like that so many things in America are so highly regulated (music downloading, where to walk on a hiking trail, etc) but that is because Spain was once ruled by a dictator (Franco) until 1975 and his family happens to be very anti-Franco. He misses being able to walk to the grocery store to pick up a gallon of milk and wishes we didn't drive so much. He doesn't understand why we don't hang out with friends for dinner during the week nights and why we sleep in 8 hour chunks of time (in Spain they take a nap in the afternoon, eat a late dinner with friends, and then sleep for 4 hours before going to work at 8am the next day). He does like America a lot though and is currently worrying (a lot) about whether his work visa will be renewed in January.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Te Echo de Menos

Manolo is working late tonight and I am missing him so much! Like seriously, throw myself on the couch and pout type of miss. In the past 2 weeks I've gotten so used to going to the store with him, cuddling with him on the couch while we watch tv, getting my feet rubbed by him, etc. It makes me realize (and not look forward to) the day when Manolo needs to go back to Spain to renew his visa.

Manolo has three options in January when his current visa expires. He already is planning on going back to Spain for the holidays (and I will hopefully be going with him) so options #1 and #2 will probably be what he does.

Option #1 - He goes to Spain and re-applys for another work visa. The cost is $400 and this option should only takes 2 months. The problem is that the work visa will only be good for 3-6 months and he'll need to go back to Spain and re-apply.

Option #2 - He applies for a fiancee visa. The cost is $400 and would take about 4 months to process. The problem is that we would need to marry in the States within 60 days of him receiving this visa. During that 4 months he wouldn't be able to visit me in the States although I could go to Spain and visit him.

Option #3 - We get married in Spain and then apply for a family visa. The cost is $1010 and would take 6 months to process BUT would be permanent. Woo!

Option #4 - We somehow get married in the States and then apply for a visa. I'm not even sure if this one would work out since I have seen no info on the web about this option. I'm thinking that it isn't a viable option although to me it makes the most sense (you live in America, get married in America).

Manolo and I are far from the "get married" stage although the future is very much on my mind and I am not looking forward to being apart from him for even a day.

Monday, November 9, 2009

El Medio



We arrived in San Diego at 10am on Saturday morning and that night was Halloween and we still didn't have costumes. After lunch in Old Town, a nap, and a Sevilla Futbal game live on tv (thank you ESPN en espanol), we went to the costume store and bought the quickest things we could assemble. I was a witch and he was death.

I wanted to go to Gaslamp for Halloween but unfortunately we weren't able to connect with our other friends who were there. It was too busy and we were running late. It was fun but my feet hurt by the end of the night and drinks were expensive. Going out to the bars is definitely more fun when I was single!

The next few days after Halloween were spent with me sick in bed. This time again I realized how nice it was to have a boyfriend around. While I slept in bed, Manolo was always around to make sure that I had enough to drink, eat, and that I always had medicine when needed. It was so nice to be taken care of after years of either taking care of myself and/or taking care of others.

On Friday we went to the Spanish Restaurant and Manolo got a job!!! When Manolo first arrived I was undecided if I wanted him to stay long term or not. It was so difficult for me to get used to having a boyfriend around (and I wasn't being the nicest to him) and a large part of me wondered if it would be best for him not to get a job and just to go home. The days before Friday though, showed me just how badly I did want him to get that job and stay in San Diego.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

A Primero


I was eagerly looking forward to detailing Manolo's first days in America but unfortunately I forgot that when you're busy actually doing stuff in America it leaves little time to actually write about the events. Now things are slowing down and I can actually go back and write about the past 10 days.

I remember when I ended my last relationship (over a year ago) and I began dating right away, many of my college friends (many of whom are married) told me to be single and free for as long as possible. Single. Free. Don't even date. Just do what I want to do when I want to do it. This was a great idea but I was lonely and wanted to get back in a relationship as soon as possible. Well life had other ideas and while I dated (a lot) I never was in a real relationship again until Manolo.

When Manolo made the decision to move to the US I prepared for almost everything I could think of: ordering the Spanish soccer package on cable, downloading skype so he could call home often, finding out where we could buy certain Spanish foods, etc. The one thing I didn't prepare for was that for so long I have been alone and have enjoyed having the ability to do things the way I want when I want. (For those who do not know my previous relationship, he was very much a loner so even though we were together for 4 years we still did a lot of stuff apart). So for almost 5 years I have become accustomed to grocery shopping by myself, watching what I want to watch on tv, sleeping alone (for the past year only), opening my own doors, not having someone put their arm around me while we walk down the street, etc.

All of a sudden I had a insta-boyfriend and even walking down the street with his arm around me was suffocating. I began worrying that I would never be able to be in a relationship again. Here I had a caring, funny, relaxed, loving, smart, sexy, European boyfriend who moved 5,883 miles for ME and instead of enjoying my luck all I could think was "I want to watch TLC Baby Story and lie in bed in my pajamas by MYSELF! Go away". It wasn't Manolo, it was me. Luckily, this feeling only lasted a few days and the past week has been much easier.

Our first few days were spent in Washington DC. Manolo came open and willing to enjoy new experiences so fortunately there wasn't a lot of comparing Spain to America and "oh Spain is so superior for the following reasons". He ate macaroni and cheese for the first time (which I think he may be an addict now) and buffalo wings (which I am an addict). We saw National Memorials at night (which I highly recommend), Smithsonian Museum of American History (which was not as educational as I thought it would be because the displays change often and don't really give a good overview of important events in American History), and walked around Washington DC.

On our way home to San Diego we were delayed overnight in Atlanta due to bad weather. Helping to end my "independent streak" was this layover. Here was a really not fun situation and suddenly I had a travel companion who made it fun and not lonely. I had someone to hold my hand, help me find the bus to the hotel, eat room service with me in bed, and watch tv while we waited for the next available flight. Not such a bad situation to be in.